Two weeks ago I met with a group of just-post-college young adults in our church. Some of them had expressed a frustration with there being no place for them to connect with people in their season of life. I decided it would be helpful to meet with several who I believed would end of being a core group if a new ministry would start. I spent the evening asking them ambiguous questions such as "What inspires you?" "What challenges you?" "How do you learn best?" in an effort to figure out what they needed if a new ministry would start for their age group. (I already knew what most of them wanted... but sometimes what we want isn't what we need.)

Unbeknownst to me, the woman who previously held this job has been trying to start a ministry at the college in town, and had formed a steering committee of people from the church to meet with. This had been going on for a while, but I didn't find out about it until two days before I was having the young adults of our church over to my home.

A couple that is on this steering committee talked with me tonight after church, telling me they met before dinner tonight and talked with some of the same people I did, asking for their thoughts on a ministry. (Even though these people are post-college and so, obviously they do not attend the college here in town.) Apparently this meeting turned into a discussion of what could be done for the young adults at our church...and the person who brought this committee together wanted to see how her idea of college ministry and serving the young adults of our church could work together. After some discusion, what was said by a former elder was this. "I think we should go with what Stephanie has going. And let this die." The young adults and a few others in this meeting agreed with him. I guess that’s how the meeting ended.

I realize it’s not my fault this steering committee didn’t communicate with me. And that annoys me a little, but I also understand it doesn’t really have anything to do with my job, especially if it’s separate from our church (they want to meet on campus) and also because we’ve never had a college ministry at this church and who it would fall under staff-wise is not determined.  When I spoke with the senior pastor last week about the results of the meeting at my house, he said this potential ministry should be separate from the college ministry they are working on, because the demographic is different, the purpose is different, plus they were running into lots of obstacles in getting it up and running. But I didn’t expect the consensus of the former elder and several others in the meeting to be that we (meaning, the church) should do it my way and not her way.

My first thought? I was smug. Not because they are trusting me… that was pretty humbling, honestly. But because the woman who started all this, the woman who used to do my job, really dislikes me because I wouldn’t let her do a Beth Moore study in the church and since that happened, she hasn’t spoken to me.

Many people have told me about her and the way she ran things. Unfortunately, not a single positive comment has ever been said. And after the Beth Moore thing, the comments in this meeting (first spoken by someone I know she really respects and likes) must have stung. And that? Made me feel smug.

Oh, the ugly side of confidence rearing its head. Yikes. I still feel it a bit, because her behavior toward me is ridiculous and immature. Yet all I want to do it stick my tongue out at her and change “neener, neener, neener. I’m better than you are.” So, you know, that’s way better.